Tuesday, November 15

Elder Bailey

I almost started crying today at school (praise be I didn't--I'm a horrendous crier). I looked around my classroom and saw eager faces discussing the latest project, and realized that I hadn't felt passionately about a school assignment in...probably a year or so. And it's not because my assignments aren't engaging, I just feel too worn out to fully invest, and too pressed for time to do my best on anything. I hate turning in work that I'm not proud of, but that's all I seem to do lately. Anyway, I walked to my car contemplating my own mediocrity and indulging in self-pitying thoughts, when I remembered that I am a lucky person. A really, really lucky person.

I have a family who loves and understands me. Every time I'm with them, I feel lucky. It's okay that I'm not the best at anything. It's okay that I got an 88 on my last paper. It's okay that I had milk duds for lunch, and don't find poetic analysis all that fulfilling. Everything's okay.

Tonight my brother was set apart to be a missionary. I'm still registering how I feel about this--I know it's what he should be doing, but will miss him terribly. He is one of the good ones. I'm excited for him to learn and grow, and excited for other people to be blessed by his infectious laugh and optimistic outlook. Iowa will love him (cougars and adolescent girls included). He's always been a great example to me, and I think following his lead will help me endure the coming months with a better and healthier attitude.

I love you, brother.

Side note, I chose the 'large picture' option (obviously, you may say). But look below at the picture of a red bull can--that's the medium option. Um. No in between, blogspot? Goodness.

Oh, and Holden rocks. In case I didn't make that clear.

1 comment:

  1. Don't worry. I got a C+ on a paper last week and almost burst into tears when everyone else around me was talking about how their high Bs were bad. I'm so glad someone else eats candy for lunch.