Monday, August 6

the, "abuse collection"

Warning: this post will be excessive.  Sadly, however, that's exactly the point.  I'm on my husband's computer and stumbled upon an archive of approximately 1.2 million photos taken of me against my will.  The following is proof of his stalkery.

*Fun fact: Conlin thinks it's hilarious to take pictures of me going to the bathroom.  Luckily, I'm in the habit of sitting with my legs closed.  Whenever I catch him snooping about, camera flashing, I demand he deletes the compromising photos immediately.  One time, he didn't listen.  I'll get to the punch line: my father-in-law saw a picture of me on the pot.  (God bless my ladylike potty-posture.  It could have been muuuuuuch worse.  But it was still utterly horrifying).

 Couldn't help slipping in one of the culprit:

This one is particularly horrifying.  Conlin shot this at 2 in the a.m.....will I never be safe?!  Candid wakeful shots are one type of vile, but candid sleeping shots are vomit-inducing.  Anyway, the clip is pretty boring until the end when Conlin makes an appearance.  The things that child does when he's bored!  
I didn't include any of the thousand shots of me in my underwear.  Or the clips of me ordering food at fast food joints.  Or the one clip where I cracked and flipped Conlin off.  (Uh oh.  See a pattern in the last two posts?) 


  1. ask your mom about my texting incidet....i can't post here. it will make you feel better about your father in law seeing the one of you on the toilet :)! thanks for posting on fb...i told you'd i'd read them if you told us :)

  2. this is so great. i just love you two. hahaha

  3. you are pretty in every single one of those candid photos so i guess it works out ok.

  4. And still look beautiful in these photos!