Over and Over Again

If we hear something over and over again, it becomes normal.

Repetition, expertly applied, becomes a sleeping pill, a chemical designed to lull us into compliance.

What at first seems sharply wrong is soon softened by the cascading words, crashing against the shore over

-and over again.

If we hear dads tell their sons to, “toughen up,” over and over again,

It becomes normal.

Toughen up

Toughen up

Toughen up.

Because apparently feeling is a woman’s sin

And boys aren’t allowed the temptation.

If we hear, “you throw like a girl,” over and over again,

It becomes normal.

Like a girl

Like a girl

Like a girl.

Spit out of mocking lips like a taste they didn’t like.

The words acidic, burning skin, a scar left to remind us that

XX chromosomes mean shame and, “like a girl” means embarrassing.

If we hear people greet each other with empty, “how are you?”s over and over again,

It becomes normal.

How are you- good

How are you- fine

How are you- actually, I’m-

The phrase left to echo in the spaces between asking and caring.

For to treat a platitude as anything else is a stamp of naivety,

A breach in social contract.

If we hear people say, “you can’t take a joke,” over and over again,

it becomes normal.

Can’t take a joke

Can’t take a joke

Can’t take a joke

The implication slapping our pain in the face,

Because even though their words slice through our thin, carefully woven beliefs,

And even though their words will leave us with a days-long stomach ache,

And even though their words chip away at the pieces that make us us,

We’re choosing to be offended.

And if we hear people say, “I love you anyway” over and over again,

It becomes normal.

I love you anyway

I love you anyway

I love you anyway

Stipulated love masquerading as real.

They tell us they love us despite our flaws,

Not realizing that the word we hear isn’t love, it’s flaws,

Their pity-sharpened claws scratch at our souls,

But how lucky that they love us anyway.

The repetition is a carousel we can’t seem to exit

And the circular justifications for cruelty

Instead of making us dizzy, make us numb.

Because if we hear something over and over again,

It becomes a normality

And those normalities, so often raised out of the ashes of good intent,

Can become a noose,  

Ensuring permanent numbness.

And numbness is the desertion of feeling, the product of a society that tells you your experiences aren’t valid. Their pre-packaged viewpoints are available for consumption, though, if you can force yourself to swallow the pill.

But if repetition has the power to normalize,

Then we should be able to normalize words and actions too.

Instead of interrupting, we can listen. Over and over again.

Instead of saying, “how are you?” Out of robot lips, we can wait for an answer. Over and over again.

Instead of looking for cracks, we can look for beauty. Over and over again.

We can use repetition not to numb, but to validate.

We can let waves of acceptance crash over and over again.

So let’s say, “I love you, all of you” over and over again,

Until it becomes normal.

I love you

I love you

I love you.