hoy fue un buen día

For whatever reason, I've just felt off the last couple weeks. Lazy, unmotivated, bored...all combined with a constant headache. Seriously, I've been a waste of a human being. Guess how many naps I took last friday? If you guessed...drum roll...three, you are correct. How disgusting is that?

But that little phase of mediocracy is over I tell you! I feel totally like myself again. Today was just a good day. I was stretching before my run this morning when a girl in my ward ran past with her mom (whom I knew from spanish class). They invited me to go with them and I did, after some slight hesitation. It was seriously the most fun I've had in awhile! I never run with people because I worry about either not keeping up with them or going too fast (some days I'm a decent runner, some days a wheez-machine. Normally the latter), but I think I'm going to start doing more partner runs.

I just needed a dose of endorphins to jolt me out of my state of worthlessness. I once again feel motivated to do something with my life. Conlin laughed Friday when he heard about my sleep extravaganza, saying, "I think homework and work are good for you. You go crazy sitting around." Amen. Starting out my mornings with a run or trip to the gym is perfect for me. It's a small thing but it affects the rest of my day.

I just signed up for a half-marathon taking place in August. I did it last summer and it resulted in a whole lot of chafing and sore muscles. But now I know what I'm in for so maybe it will be less miserable (that's all I'm going for--not wonderful, just less miserable). I remember the last couple of miles last year...I was on the verge of puking when I vowed never to participate in such self-torture again. But here I am again. I just like training for a purpose, so I guess this is what I get. My dear friend Rachel Bradley is doing it with me, so at least I have a partner in crime (or pain).

devil food

I cannot fully express the complete sense of relief I felt upon awakening yesterday morning...no homework, no finals, nothing. It was utter bliss. For about two hours. And then I was bored...my summer plague. Why do I do this to myself? I go crazy during the school year--homework every night until two, meltdowns (Conlin will be my witness, bless him), no time for myself, etc. But then when I finally have a chance to relax, I almost wish I was stressed out again. Ha. Maybe I should be institutionalized. I'm just hoping this blog coupled with a few jobs (should I find them) will keep be busy until summer classes start. I will not let myself go crazy this summer. I just won't.

Anyway...I've been trying to eat healthier lately (ok trying might be too strong a word...I've been considering eating healthier). And it is HARD. I don't understand why this is always such a struggle for me. I normally feel (and look) like crap after eating junk food, so why the appeal? Why do I daydream of pizza and ice cream? I feel better when I eat healthy food and yet it still makes me grumpy. Seriously...I'm that crazy lady that sits on campus chewing on carrots and cucumbers, snarling at innocent passer-bys. If you were a victim of my snarling, I apologize. I'm trying to get it under control.

Maybe I get grumpy because I feel like junk food teases me. It won't even sound all that good, but the fact I can't have it makes me mad. I swear some days I hear the frozen pizzas whispering, "Oh come on...you're not that fat. Forget about the world, I love you the way you are...come enjoy.." Satan pizza. We are no longer friends.

But on a more positive note--summer is lovely, life is good and I love my husband. I'm really not this pessimistic, I just felt like ranting a little. Love you all.