Friday, June 24

Our New Nighttime Routine

The past few nights have gone, with little variation, as follows:

I'm laying in bed, completely exhausted. As my breathing evens and my body starts to lose consciousness...I'm woken by a strobe light.

A. Strobe. Light.

And Conlin's giggling. "Strike a pose! And strike a pose!"

Apparently there's a new strobe light app available for all spouses who want to sleep on the couch.

ME: "Paleeeease. I have class at seven. Please let me go to sleep."

CONLIN: "Strike a pose gurrrl!"

ME: "You need to learn to read normal human cues. Listen to my voice--"

CONLIN: "I think my wife's gone craaaazzzy." (to the tune of an eminem song).

ME: "I am asking you to stop, with not the slightest hint of sarcasm. I am not laughing. There is a serious tone in what I'm saying--"

CONLIN: "And strike a pose!"

ME: "You are disturbing my brain functions. I could easily have epilepsy!"

CONLIN: "I think you've gone craaaaazzzzy."

ME: "Conlin!"

Then I punch him in the shoulder and, laughing, he turns off the app. (Which he turns on once more...just to let me know he's calling the shots).

I will keeeeel whoever invented that app. But... I will not kill my husband. Because even though I was incredibly tired and not as amused as I would have been were his timing better, I appreciated his humor. And high-pitched voice. And overall amusement at my expense.

That child.

Strike a pose.

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