Friday, February 10

resolutions + shallow thoughts

I gave up making New Years resolutions a few years ago because, as Homer Simpson believes, "Trying is the first step to failure."

But I went to the gym this morning and have decided to declare a single resolution for 2012.
I want my legs and head to be proportionate by the end of the year.
EVERY time I go to the gym I am distraught by my reflection--I look like I have little head syndrome. Or big leg syndrome. I think my head is actually a relatively normal size, which leads me to believe my problem is likely the latter... Anyway, I just want them to look like they belong on the same body, which means one of two things needs to happen:

1. I could get head enlargement surgery. (Although I'm not sure technology is thus evolved).
2. I could slim down my legs just a titch.

You'll notice my goal is not to rock a bikini or look good in jeans (maybe 2013?) I just want to look evenly distributed. I'm not sure this is actually possible, seeing as my body has changed very little since the 8th grade (yes, I've been ogre-esque for a loooong time). Still, a girl can dream.

Also, continuing this stream of shallow thoughts:

This last Thanksgiving break I suffered a hardship. I lost a single, perfect earring in Las Vegas. But when one door closes, another opens, right?

I just want to bear my testimony of tender mercies. I HAVE FOUND A PAIR OF EARRINGS MORE PERFECT THAN THE LAST! Can I get an AMEN?

(too sacrilegious? If not, should I work it into fast and testimony meeting?)

1 comment:

  1. I lost my perfect earring in Park City. Also. If you don't feel like you look good in jeans now, there is NO hope for the rest of us.