things i think daily

I would pay $100 for a nap. (I know.  Incredibly uneconomical).
I need to go grocery shopping.
Why must the faculty bathroom be so far from my trailer?
Sorry female students who just heard me pee.  I know you'd all be happier naively believing teachers don't actually pee.  Or go to movies.  Or do normal people things.
I should cook.  But yeah right.
I should blog.  But yeah right.
The view from trailer 182 isn't half bad.
I shouldn't have said that.  (In response to the million things I accidentally tell my students).
At least read the spark notes, for heaven's sake!  
Are you even going to try to trick me into thinking you did the homework?  
Oh, you cute kids.
Yeah, I see your phone.
Is there a polite way to say, "Please never write like this again.  It hurts my soul."?

and

This is the life.