the forced exit

So, I have this problem.  I think it's fairly common, but I'm probably unique in the raucous way my problem manifests itself.  My problem, made worse by my post as teacher, is ill-timed laughter.

You see where this is going, don't you?

When I say, "ill-timed laughter" what you should read is this: "snort-choking-whale noises that escalate in direct proportion to the degree in which I shouldn't be laughing."

I started to really fear this problem about a year ago when my brother said a horrible, but admittedly creative, racist slur.  I was so surprised by the derogatory combinations that I shock-laughed.  (You know--when you're so taken by surprise you laugh without intent).  As I computed how awful it was I was laughing I, of course, laughed even harder.

On Friday, I had one of these moments.  Cue: fourth period.

We were having a student-led discussion on the first half of Lord of the Flies.  And...it sort of turned into Lord of the Flies.  The class is made up of a particularly eclectic group of students, so the morphing discussion was incredibly entertaining.  Like, think of The Office and Parks and Recreation on steroids.

Anyway, there was a comment.  And I mini-snorted.  And then I knew: the ill-timed laughter bubble was rising.  It was going to happen.  I was going to make noises that no teacher should ever make.

It. Could. Not. Be. Stopped.

It started quietly, with my head down, body shaking.  But then some of my students saw, and they raised their eyebrows.  Oh, if only I hadn't seen those eyebrows!

Choking laughter, I ran out the door.  I momentarily exiled myself from my classroom.  I stood on the stoop outside my trailer and slowly inhaled the cool air.  After a few sobering thoughts (Conlin's just been diagnosed with cancer.  Your parents no longer love you.  Your family wants to cut ties.) I reentered the classroom.  All heads turned, all eyebrows lifted.

And then I had to explain my problem.  My students, bless them, were largely sympathetic.  And by sympathetic, I mean they now think their teacher is a complete loon.  Which is a rather adept assessment on their part.  A+ all around.