Saturday, June 22

summer minutiae

I hope you're ready for the reading thrill of your life, because I'm comin' at you hard with the tantalizing details of my life.

First off, a peek at how I handle hunger pangs:

What that image doesn't capture is the call I made at six.  After explaining to Conlin that I was considering self-cannibalism [our pantry was near empty and my arm was morphing into a seemingly viable food option], he assured me that the golf extravaganza was coming to a close and he'd be home in thirty minutes.  Trying to remain calm, I closed with: "Sounds good.  Just remember my stomach is eating itself."

As you can see in the above picture, thirty minutes became two hours.  I pride myself on being generally even-tempered, but hunger simply does not suit me.  When I got that last text I considered some truly childish retorts and it took me an embarrassingly long time to regain my "cool."  Anyway, rest assured: I was eventually fed and Conlin is once again in my good graces.

Also in food news: Conlin doesn't seem to think it's necessary to eat an ice cream cone every day in summer.  Isn't that an unspoken rule?  It's summer.  Therefore, ice cream cones.  Conlin's considerable intelligence in mind, I'm surprised he can't grasp this basic equation.  Luckily, though, he has a plethora of endearing qualities so I can forgive him his ice cream misunderstanding.  

And we've now reached the part of the post where I should transition from food news to real news.  But, after wracking my brain, it is my unfortunate task to inform you that I've got nothin'.  I coach, go to the gym, plan summer school, and devise ways of getting ice cream cones.  That is my life in full.  I hope these exotic details haven't made your lives seem too dull in comparison.

Happy weekend, friends.


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