I hate doubting myself and have often wished to be more confident. Lately, however, I have had the chance to observe someone who appears rather doubt-free. I'm now torn as to whether or not this is what I would want for myself. Although I completely adore this person, it seems that this utter confidence does have one serious defect--lack of self-assessment. Without the typical insecurities we all feel, would we really feel the need to self-assess? Would we see the need for change?
Confidence is most definitely a good thing, but the ability to recognize our faults is as well. (Although once a month it seems most girls get a little too good as this).
Just a thought. Hope you all are having a lovely day!
Sadly, I am not blogging to declare the obtaining of my dream job, only that I have found it. Oh...my...goodness. I am in love. I want to be a court clerk. (Admit it..you thought I was about to say something a little more glamorous, huh? Well, let me explain...)
Not only would this job make me feel grown-up and somewhat more connected to my favorite Law and Order characters, but it would be incredibly interesting. And fulfilling. And all sorts of wonderful.
And I could totally wear my boyfriend jacket to work (and no that's not the real reason I want the job, just a fashionable bonus). It even fits with my school schedule, which is down-right miracle. It would just be so fast-pace and exciting....and...
Okay you get the point. I'm practically hyperventilating I'm so in love with this job. There's only one thing--I won't get it. You have to have court experience, an area in which I sadly fall short. (They also prefer paralegal and criminal justice majors). But you know what? Although I am most definitely facing rejection, something I've always feared, I think I am going to apply. Yeah you heard me court officials! You're gonna have to turn me down in person. (Although they could probably just mail me a rejection notice...)
I'm just setting myself up for failure, but oh well. A girl's gotta hope. (Plus, rejection would probably justify a Papa Johns/ice cream night).
Love you all.
Oh, and here's a copy of the job description:
"Maintains all court dockets, proceedings, and records; enters citations from the Police Dept on a daily basis and enters them in the log book and computer; generates a follow-up list; prepares the court calendar; attends court while it is in session; records orders and sentences of the Judge for each defendant; schedules appointments; does follow-up actions including warning letters, orders to show cause and warrants; updates warrant list and reviews payment agreement files with the Judge; compiles month-end reports; compiles failure to appear and failure to show cause reports for the Judge; does criminal and driver license history checks; contacts witnesses, attorneys, and litigants to obtain information for the court; performs other related duties."
So apparently I've taken up sleep-walking/talking...I was unaware up until my marriage. Conlin thinks it's just the funniest thing. According to him, last night I jumped out of bed (rather disoriented, I would imagine) and stumbled to the kitchen. After turning on the lights I began rummaging through the garbage. An entertained Conlin then asked what I was doing, to which I replied, "I'm just looking for vitamin water man." Ah, but of course. What else would I be doing at two in the morning?
So this post is likely going to be a collection of random thoughts. I don't really have a point, or maybe I have too many, so I'll just make a little list of things on my mind which I may or may not end up discussing. Sound good? Okay..
1. I'm hungry. We ran out of groceries a few days ago but didn't want to get more seeing as we leave for Lake Powell tomorrow. So I'm eating handfuls of Special K...it's not a glamorous as it sounds.
2. I have a very brave brother. Holden left for Georgia on Monday to sell Apex. Uh...yeah. Scary. But he's doing well, or at least way better than I would be. I've been texting and calling him a lot more than I, and I'm sure he, expected. I think I'm more nervous than he is...he's probably like, why is my sister calling every couple hours? When has she ever talked to me this much? I guess I just know how hard it would be for me so I like to check up...I'm sure I'll grow out of it.
3. I have been a very lazy runner lately.
Although Rachel and I did go running this morning at 6:30 A.M. (applaud us please)...sure we didn't run all that far, but is that really the point? Ok, yeah, we should be kicking butt by now but...we'll get there.
On Biggest Loser the final four, who are still pretty overweight, ran a marathon in the finale. Whoa...pretty amazing. If they can do something that incredibly hard I can suck it up and run a few miles. I just need to be more disciplined.
4. When we run our dishwasher it makes the kitchen stink. I don't think that's normal.
5. I need to stop trying to fix all my weaknesses at once, it just doesn't work. It's like I wake up one morning and am like, "Okay. I'm just going to be perfect this week. Shouldn't be too hard...I'll just eat healthy, work out a lot, study spanish, read my scriptures, think only the kindest thoughts, be efficient..." on and on. So it's no wonder it only takes me fifteen minutes to fail. I just need to pick a couple small things to improve on every week.
6. I don't like headaches. In fact, if headaches could be embodied in some monster or person or something I would beat that thing up.
7. Rotten potatoes WREAK. Oh...my...goodness. Possible the worst smell in the world. It's like roadkill meets sewage meets period meets skunk.
8. I love Conlin.
9. I'm excited to move.
10. I love Priscilla Ahn. Seriously, her music makes me want to be a better person. It also makes me wish I could sing, but that is a dream I abandoned long ago (it was in everyone's best interest). Anyway, listen to this song, it will make your day.
