Tuesday, March 19

let's talk about feeeeeelings

Talk about an enticing title.
Might as well have read: That Time of the Month: a Feminine How-To or Parenting Advice from a Non-Parent! or A Comprehensive List of Everything I've Eaten in the Last Month.

Anyway. The other day a student said, "Mrs. Gull, you're as sarcastic as I am inappropriate."  And the sad thing is: 1) He's right. 2) He's incredibly inappropriate.

Sarcasm is just my go-to defense mechanism.  Me and sarcasm?  We're homies.  But I am trying to rid myself of my constant sarcasm by mixing in the occasional heartfelt statement.  I think I can do it without having an aneurism.  So here is a truth I'd feel more comfortable joking about, but am going to face head-on:

Sometimes I feel overwhelmingly flawed.

Have you ever felt this way?  You're day is going fine until--bam!--suddenly you realize you have failed in almost every area of your life.  And your'e not sure how to unfail.

Moments like this blindside me.  I'm so used to feeling in control of my thoughts and feelings that overpowering surges of emotion just throw me.  And today I was thrown.

This post is wearing me out already.  Pleeeease let me just be sarcastic?  Let me wimp out of grownup discussions?  

I typically try to logic my way out of the blues.  The following line of questioning sometimes helps ground me:

Have I killed anyone? Nope.
Told students they are Satan's spawn?  No.
Abused illegal substances? No and no.
Flipped off any elderly?  Nope.
Wished innocent people would contract aids?  Definitely no.
Well, great.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this.  [I assume this is how 85% of my students felt whilst writing their latest essays because, man, their main ideas were hard to identify.] 

Maybe my point is this:
Recognizing your shortcomings is a positive thing if it helps you modify your behavior in a healthy way.  If feelings of failure disable you and prevent you from progressing, let them go.  Because no one is irreparably broken.


And now for something a little silly because goshdangit being serious is draining.  
You know how you used to dream of building forts in your backyard?  Maybe even designed a blueprint?  Well, today I stopped by my parents' house to find my brother and his friends making that dream a reality [for them, not you].  My parents' overgrown garden is now their bachelor pad.

Whatever my shortcomings, family is not one of them.  



  1. You're amazing!! And funny as hell. Don't stop being you!!

  2. Loved this post!! I needed to hear this. Thanks girl

  3. I love you bby g! And miss you so much!