paparazzi attack

As previously documented here, I am plagued by paparazzi named Conlin.  Sometimes it's endearing, but more often than not his candid photo fetish drives me nuts.  I protest nicely at first ["Please stop.  Please stop?  Please really stop.] but inevitably his actions require more...persuasion? [ Okay seriously, dude, if you don't put the camera down I'm going to kick you in the crotch.  And feel only marginally remorseful."] 
Below is evidence of the candid photo abuse I suffer.  Not pictured: the other 786 photos Conlin has taken in the past month.  This is the tip of the iceberg, people.

 Also, fair warning: if you know/interact with Conlin, he's probably got dirt on you too.  It's scary the amount of incriminating photos I've found stored on his computer.  None of us is safe.