my running husband

Oh my dear, sweet husband...he hates running with a passion. But I really wanted to do a night run and couldn't go by myself (the trail is a bit suspicious) so he went with me. And hated every step of it. But he stuck it out, the trooper. And man am I happy he was with me...I've only ever ran this particular trail during the day, when it seems so open and harmless. Not so in the dark...you have to run through these underpasses which, during the day, are lit up just fine. During the night, pitch black. I kid you not, when I reached the middle of one particularly shifty underpass, I could not see an inch in front of me. I'm normally pretty good with the dark, but this kinda freaked me out. I'm surprised I didn't run into one of the walls...and, irrational as it was, I was seriously worried about stepping on a dead body or something. Even at the time I knew it was an irrational fear, but it still scared me.

Anyway, we're alive. And Conlin's the best for doing something he hates so much. The end.

In need of remodeling...

Before I begin, let me just say that I am not in any way writing this post to guilt you into complementing me. Really, I just have some thoughts. So hear me out...

I'm sick of being so self-conscious about my body. And the way I see it, I have two choices: change it (diet and exercise) or become a less selfish person. That may sound weird, but I just had a sort of epiphany. If I were more involved serving others and trying to be Christ-like, I doubt my stupid body issues would be so constantly bothering me.

My body works just fine and I really should be more appreciative than I am. It's stupid that I'm ever bothered by the fact my body is not perfect. Really. How many perfect bodies even exist? Not many. I just want to be one of those happy, selfless people. You probably know a few...the people that are so concerned with others, their self doubt just gets cast to the side. I need to serve others. And yes I know diet and exercise are important-- I just need to be doing it for the right reasons. Health, respect for my body...not the worldly reasons that have too often been my motivators.

Basically, I just need a little spiritual remodeling. I don't have time to be so selfish. There are people out there in need and I have probably been so darn concerned with my shortcomings to notice them.

I want to be a better listener, rather than commanding whole conversations (yes I'm aware that's tragically hypocritical, seeing as this is MY blog and I'm the sole contributor...sorry). I want to make people feel loved. And I don't think I've been doing a very good job, but I'm sure going to try. Love you all.

mulan

So I went for a little run this morning. I was feeling pretty good when I stopped halfway to stretch; that's when I realized my mouth felt really sticky. So I decided to spit (a sport in which I have very little practice). Conlin spits all the time and it looks so easy. But I am telling you...not always the case. Have you seen Mulan? When she tries to impress the soldiers by spitting? Yeah...my spit attempt was very mulan-esk. It was the worst. And I'm not so sure it went unseen. I probably looked like...let's see...when a baby is on the floor looking clueless and drooling on his toys? Yeah. I was just a bigger version. EMBARRASSING.

When I told Conlin about my little episode he just went, "Babe, you just got to put a little force into it."

Well, excuse me. I'm new at this.

(Conlin) Can't be Tamed

Anyone heard Miley Cyrus's new song, 'Can't be Tamed'? Cause I heard the most lovely version via my husband. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I was the lucky recipient of a Conlin concert last night. Nothin like hearing that boy crow, "Can't be tamed"....I have to say it was quite the powerful rendition. So, so funny...too bad I didn't capture it on camera. I love my life.

i spy with my little eye...

So I have a confession. I've recently developed an attachment to spying on people. But I only spy on people I don't know, so that absolves me of a little guilt right? Maybe? Eh I dunno...

Anyway, our apartment window overlooks dentist-office parking lots. And, as many of you may know, Provo is disgustingly quick to boot/tow anyone parked after hours or without a permit. Even if you were just working late. Twisted as it is, Conlin and I find it incredibly entertaining to watch people as they find their car booted.

Just last night I heard a lady shriek, "What the ******(long list of obscenities)" when reaching her car. She worked at the office and had apparently left just a few minutes too late. Conlin and I quickly turned out our lights (we have to be sneaky), opened the window and crouched down to watch the havoc unroll. This woman was furious. Her and her friend stormed about the parking lot cursing whatever came to mind. We couldn't wait until the parking police came back to retrieve the boot, they were gonna get it. But, I hate to admit it, we got lost watching Parenthood and missed the parking lot finale. I imagine it was a good one.

I mostly love spying on our mysterious across-the-landing neighbor anyway. We live in married housing, and yet this guy is single. He speaks not a word (I tried introducing myself once to no avail) and receives random packages almost daily. Anytime I hear someone coming up the steps I bound over to my post at our door's keyhole to sneak a look. All in all, I've probably watched about ten encounters. I've even read a couple flyers posted on his door. (Ok the more I write, the creepier I realize I sound). I just can't figure him out. Drug lord? Serial killer? Secret scrapbooker? Who knows. I move in about a month and do not think my spying will uncover any satisfactory conclusions. It's probably a good thing this is merely a means of entertainment, not my profession.

If for whatever reason my neighbor is reading this--hello there. I was exaggerating about watching ten encounters. It was probably only five. Please don't sue.

gender ambiguity

So I was working at the kiosk when a man, possibly, hopefully, crazy walked up to me and asked point-blank, "Are you a woman?" When I replied in the affirmative he just continued to stare at me, as if doubting my response. After a few long, uncomfortable seconds he replied, "I just wanted to make sure. Do you know where a map of this place is?" And then he was gone.

I was wearing a skirt and have boobies. Do I really look all that gender ambiguous?

I hope he was crazy, otherwise a serious makeover seems a necessity.

Oye.

Friday night Conlin and I stayed out rather late playing games with friends (Ok, it was only 1:30...but it was like we were a young, dating couple again!). I worked two jobs the following day (yesterday), my shift at Color Me Mine not ending until midnight. At about 9:30 p.m. I hit a wall...I seriously cannot remember the last time I was that incredibly tired (can anyone say grandma?). Anyway, after work I went straight to bed, looking forward to a long night of sleep.

But my stupid mind got in the way. I had vivid dreams I was still at Color Me Mine working...everyone needed my help, no one would leave, etc. etc. I woke up about seven times and actually sat up or got out of bed to help someone. ANNOYING. I think working at Color Me Mine until midnight is sufficient, I should really not have to work there via my dreams until the wee hours in the morning. But I never did fall into a normal sleep. Gah.

Maybe I'll try again in a couple hours. Please don't join me Color Me Mine customers.

Bless You Jane Austen

I just finished reading Persuasion by Jane Austen and have to admit, I'm still recovering. Seriously, by heart is still pounding. What a glorious, glorious book. Jane Austen is beyond brilliant; her books ignite feelings within their readers few other works can produce. I am not joking, while reading I got chills, goosebumps and even experienced a slight shortage of breath.

I want to give Jane Austen a hug-- thanks to Persuasion, this is now one of the best days of my life. I was seriously in such a frenzy by the end of the book, I doubt I would have made much sense had someone attempted conversing with me. READ THIS BOOK! You will not regret it. (Unless, of course, you are a male with a reputation to maintain. You will not be able to help enjoying it, which may hurt your image).

I just love this book. I love it, I love it, I love it. It makes me want to dress up and make believe I'm Anne Elliot, the brilliant heroine. Oh happy day.

Bless you Jane Austen

P.S. I'm working at a kiosk in the mall and underneath is a large bin, hidden behind the front desk. If the mall were under attack, that is most definitely where I would hide. Just wanted you to know I'm prepared.

ode de conlin

WARNING: this post may be overly-sentimental and nausea inducing. Sorry.

Really, I'm typically not excessively saccharine (my new favorite word), but lately I have just been overwhelmed by my wonderful husband. I hope this isn't terribly sacrilegious but I kinda feel like God created me and then, being in an exceedingly good mood, created Conlin to perfectly fit my every want.

Seriously, Conlin is just so cute I don't know what to do with myself. Ever since I was little I've had this weird habit where, when faced with something/someone I find adorable (a cute baby, for instance) I get so overwhelmed with adoration that I...I dunno...tense up. I even clench my teeth. It's the weirdest thing, and it makes me look abusive rather than loving, but I just can't help it. Conlin loves teasing me about it, as he should. I look like a crazy person. I'm like, "Oh you're just so cute" as I'm clenching me teeth looking angry. I'm sure this was confusing to him at first, but he now knows how to interpret the teeth-clenching so all is well.

But wait, here's a better way to explain that: you know how little kids sometimes love their little pets so much they squeeze them to death? Well my tensing/teeth-clenching thing is kinda like that.

And Conlin is not just a looker--he's weird as can be, and so funny. My life with him is like one continuous belly laugh; you know, the laughing that shakes you all the way through and often results in lack of air? In fact, he's currently singing a twisted version of Jay-Z--off rhythm and void of any gangsterness. He always talks and sings in this delightful falsetto (it's delightful in that it in no way really resembles singing), which I find highly entertaining. And he likes to think himself gangster, but one falsetto performance is all it takes to dispel any chance he had at being considered such. Oh Conlin.

He is also blessed with the ability to find my potentially irritating quirks endearing. Could I be any luckier? I don't know if I really deserve to be married to Conlin, but I think God let me because he knew I would appreciate him. My husband is just the best: kind, unassuming, funny. And did I mention he's tall, dark and handsome? Yeah. Life rocks.

oh regan. so strange

I'm probably the most normal weird person you'll meet. For the most part I trick people into thinking I am just that--normal; but those on the inside (conlin, my family, a select group of friends) know better. I am quite strange. There. It's out in the open.

Here's just a glimpse of what it's like inside my head:

I was driving home from work when I realized I was speeding. This is a rarity so I began evaluating my surroundings to see what may have contributed to this occurrence. I noticed everyone was speeding, including the elderly woman next to me (probably in her 80's). I then wondered why this was so. Maybe there was some threat of which I was unaware. The drivers could be trying to escape a herd of angry motorcyclists, or, more likely, a tornado. If there was indeed a tornado spinning my way, what should I do? I had to have a plan. Mine and Conlin's apartment is probably not the best place to be during such a disaster, but say we were already there when we learned of the tornado? It would be best to stay put, and our bathroom , though still not optimal, would probably be the safest place. If we had a slight warning maybe we could grab our valuables, securing them in the bathroom with us. But what would even constitute valuables? My jeans? Yeah. Probably. But would they even be in danger? They're tucked safely away in my dresser. I guess I could just grab them to be safe.

Then I pulled up to our apartment, amazed at my thought process. Where did this whole tornado dilemma come from? Oh..right. Speeding. Should have suspected such.

And that, my friends, is a rather common occurrence. I understand why Conlin may seem confused during some of our conversations. It would be rough trying to follow...